Why Black Mothers Struggle to Breastfeed (and What We Can Do About It)

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The Insider Truth

I once heard an account of a Black mother whose own mother wiped her breasts with whiskey and bound them tightly, determined to dry her milk up. That mother had no intention of breastfeeding because the generational message was clear: breastfeeding was not encouraged. It was silenced. Stories like this are not rare. They echo through our families, passed down not as nourishment but as survival strategies in a world where breastfeeding was disrupted, devalued, or outright denied to us. For me, I became the first in at least three generations of women in my family to breastfeed. That reality carried weight. I was not just nursing my child. I was repairing a thread that had been broken long before me. This is what so many Black mothers face. Not simply the question of “do you want to breastfeed?” but the layered history of systemic barriers, cultural silence, and personal struggle that surrounds the decision.

The Systemic Barriers

Behind the scenes in hospitals, many Black mothers face an uphill battle from the very first hours after birth. Formula is often offered before breastfeeding is established. Separation between mother and baby still happens, even when skin-to-skin contact is known to protect breastfeeding outcomes.

Hospital staff are often too busy to provide meaningful latch support. A nurse may try once, then move on to the next patient. Lactation consultants are not always available overnight, which is exactly when so many new mothers struggle. For Black women, who already face racial bias in healthcare, requests for help may be minimized or dismissed.

On top of this, the workplace is rarely supportive. Black women are more likely to return to work sooner and less likely to have paid leave. Breaks for pumping are inconsistently honored, and many jobs offer no private, clean space to express milk.

One of my clients worked as a cashier in an outdoor gas station booth. She had no choice but to wear her pump while working straight through her shift because it was the only option available to her. It may sound unbelievable, but it was her reality.

These systemic barriers set the stage long before a mother’s willpower or commitment ever comes into play.

The Cultural Weight

Generational trauma runs deep in breastfeeding. During slavery, Black women were often forced into wet nursing, feeding the children of others while their own babies went hungry. In the decades that followed, formula was marketed aggressively to our communities as a sign of modernity and progress. The cultural memory of breastfeeding as something low-status or backward still lingers.

In many families, mothers and grandmothers simply did not breastfeed, so the knowledge of how to do it was not passed down. Instead, new mothers may hear “just give the baby a bottle” or “formula was fine for you, so it will be fine for your child.” These messages are not always said out of malice. They are born from survival in a system that did not value or protect our traditions.

Then comes the cultural expectation to bounce back quickly. To look put together. To keep moving. Breastfeeding is seen as tying you down when the message is that a strong Black woman should never appear dependent, vulnerable, or “too occupied” by her own recovery.

The Personal Impact

When all of these forces collide, it is no wonder that many Black mothers feel like they are failing when breastfeeding becomes hard. The message is clear: if you cannot do it, it must be because you were not strong enough or did not try hard enough.

That could not be further from the truth. Breastfeeding is not just a personal decision. It is shaped by hospitals, workplaces, families, and histories that either protect it or strip it away. When those structures are weak, the mother carries the weight of that failure on her own shoulders.

The shame is real. The grief of stopping before you wanted to is real. And yet, these struggles are not personal flaws. They are the result of systems that were never designed with Black women in mind.

What We Can Do: A Framework for Change

The solution is not to tell Black women to try harder. It is to equip families with tools that break through the silence, reclaim our traditions, and prepare for the reality of breastfeeding in today’s world. That is where the framework of Learn, Nourish, Support becomes powerful.

Learn

Breastfeeding is a learned skill, not an instinct. Mothers and families should not expect to just know how to do it. Education before birth is critical. That can mean learning the basics of latch and supply, reflecting on your breastfeeding goals, and creating a plan for common scenarios. When families know what to expect, they are less likely to be blindsided by challenges.

Nourish

Milk supply is not just about willpower. It is about nourishment of the body and the spirit. Foods that promote healing, hydration, and warmth matter. So do practices like rest and emotional support. Nourishment is cultural. It is the soups, teas, and rituals passed down when the community steps in to care for the mother.

Support

No one breastfeeds alone. A partner who knows how to advocate, a doula who understands the hospital system, a grandmother who can cook meals while the mother rests, a friend who sits and listens when it feels hard are what sustain a breastfeeding journey. Support is not optional. It is the backbone of success.

What To Do Instead

If you are preparing to breastfeed, do not rely on willpower alone. Build a strategy. Write down what matters most to you. Learn about latch and positioning before the baby comes. Talk to your partner about how they can step in with advocacy or household help. Plan for nourishment, whether that means freezer meals or herbal teas. Most of all, surround yourself with people who will support you, not shame you.

In Closing

Black mothers do not struggle to breastfeed because they are weak or unwilling. They struggle because systems fail them, cultural memory discourages them, and personal support is too often absent.

You deserve more than trial and error. You deserve tools that center your reality, not generic advice.

That is why I created the Black Woman’s Breastfeeding Kit. Inside you will find:

• Reflection sheets to help you name your priorities.

• Planning tools to prepare for common challenges.

• Nourishment practices rooted in cultural wisdom.

• Guidance for building a circle of support.

Breastfeeding should not be a battle fought alone. With preparation, nourishment, and support, you can step into it with confidence and care.

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Written by Kendra Lonon, Doula & Educator

Every reflection is drawn from my real experiences supporting families through birth and postpartum. I write from a place of bridging motherhood and birthwork, connecting professional insight with real, lived experience.I share what most guides won’t so you can prepare, recover, and make informed choices with confidence. Explore the full collection of thoughtfully created planning tools.